Coffee is a natural laxative.

And if you are married to a caffeine addict then you know what the hell I am talking about.
Dan and I live in a small house, so small most apartments are bigger than ours. I’m not complaining, we are doing better than most college students and other young couples but for the LUV we only have 1 bathroom! This lack of personal space causes a lot of civil wars between us and this morning was no exception.

8:15 am: “Do you need to come in here?” He points.
8:15 am: I squeeze. (u know what I’m referring to) “No.”
8:40 am: I finally hear the toilet flush and I have to go now, I am waiting by the door and mad dash towards the already warm toilet seat as soon as the door opens.
8:45 am: I am pissed because it is hard to hold your breath and pee at the same time, so I must get acquainted with a side of Dan that is very much less sexy.
8:46 am: He knocks at the door and DEMANDS that he be able to shower while I am relieving myself. WTF? “No, asshole, I gave you your privacy so now you wait!”
8:47 am: “WTF! Jo! I have shit to do!” He screams and bangs on the bathroom door. “I hate you!” I yell back and throw a toilet paper roll at the door. “I hate you!” He retaliates but his voice is growing distant from the bathroom door and into the living room. Problem Solved. Jo- 1 point, Dan- 0!
8:48 am: The toilet flushes, hands are washed, and bathroom door opens and I emerge into the living room to see Dan completely naked and sitting on my couch. Gross.
8:50 am: 2 minutes of udder silence and we just stare blankly at each other. He stands with towel in hand and I sit (opposite side of butt juice couch) He goes into the shower before saying “Stop gawking at me, its weird.” LOL “Whatever I am looking at does not currently meet my standards, its a little flaccid.”
8:53 am: “Gawd, you are such brat.” Doors shuts, and shower begins.
9:34 am: “Ok babe, I’ve got to get to class, I love you.” My laptop slams shuts as I lean up to kiss him. “What are you writing about???” He asks.

At 1 pm today, I will be in VERY big trouble.
Happy HUMPDAY Everyone.

 

 

 

IMG_0698

Dan, Todd, & Bass in front of our house last summer.

 

**Interesting Fact of the Day**

If you shouted for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would produce enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee!

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5 responses to “Coffee is a natural laxative.

  1. ha ha this is hilarious. loves it.

  2. As I read your post first thing that came to mind when you said sitting on the couch naked was “butt juice” Swear to God…and then I read it. Wierd huh? Funny story though. Joe and I have bathroom privacy fights too.

  3. too funny! you’re crazy

  4. Note to self: Do not sit on Jo & Dans “butt juice” sofas.

    LOL

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